The following are actual quotes taken from insurance or accident forms—verbatim from people who have tried to summarize their encounters with trouble. And while accidents are certainly not funny, the way people communicate their experience can be.
Take a look. They might inspire some laughter, which is often said to be the best medicine.
“Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.”
“The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.”
“A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.”
“The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
“I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.”
“In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.”
“I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.”
“I was on my way to the doctor’s with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.”
“My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.”
“An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished.”
“I told the police I was not injured, but removing my hat, I found a skull fracture.”
“The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him.”
“I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.”
“The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.”
“I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.”
“The telephone pole was approaching fast. I attempted to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.”
“I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passenger then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.”